This weekend was a hard one. Everyone kept telling me to be relieved that you aren't suffering anymore and that you are out of pain, but when I heard that, it made me cry harder. I'm not upset that you aren't in pain anymore, or that you're in a better place. Simply put, I miss you.
They told me it'd be closed casket, so you could imagine my shock entering the funeral home and seeing you there. Gramma said Larry wanted to keep the casket opened because you looked so good. Margie, you were beautiful. Gramma picked out a beautiful dress with soft pink roses on it. Your casket was a pearly pink; I'm pretty sure you would have picked out that exact one if you had the choice. Besides, who knows style better than Gramma?
I met Larry for the first time. Well, he told me he met me when I was very little, but I don't remember. He misses you so much. I also saw your parents again. They looked the same as they did on Easter. I am going to send Larry and your parents letters, because I didn't have any words yesterday.
What am I going to do without you here?
I promise I will do Relay for Life every year for Margie's Angels. I wish there was a way I could raise enough money to find a cure for cancer. Do you think we'll find a cure in my lifetime? I hate cancer so much; I think it's the only think I really actually hate in life.
I promise to be less passive in life. I will really work on speaking up. Remember when you and Gramma visited me in Utah when we moved into our condo? And our diningroom table was being delivered? And the delivery men were going to leave without assembling the chairs, and you gave them an earful, so you and Gramma ironed my shower curtain as you watched them assemble the chairs. You did the right thing, because I'm pretty sure the three of us wouldn't have been able to put even one of those together.
I promise to be more involved with politics. I even watched last night's debate. Did you? I think Rick Perry is a joke.
I'll never forget how you always added an "s" onto the end of "Walmart". I've always secretly thought that was funny.
Does Larry know how much I love you?
When I have children, and they are crazy and run around like I did to you when I was little, I'll think of the stories you'd tell about me as a child. I'd like to officially appologize to you for being a hyper kid.
You were so beautiful, Margie, inside and out. Part of me wishes I had visited you between Easter and when you passed, but I have great memories of you at Easter. And that is how I'll always remember you.
I promise to visit you as much as I can. You're in Enfield now, and that's a little far, but I'll try to visit every time I'm in Connecticut. And I'll take Aunt Carla with me. And Gramma, since she doesn't like to drive a lot. You're burried by some beautiful trees, and it's towards the back of the cemetary, so you won't be bothered by a lot of cars and people walking all over you.
When I cry because I miss you, please hold my hand and comfort me.
I'll see you soon, my dear friend.
Love,
"Katie"
If tears could build a stairway
and thoughts a memory lane,
I'd walk right up to heaven
and bring you home again.
-author unknown
No comments:
Post a Comment